what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
