Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
