I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
