How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
