is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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