we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
