idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I intend to get homeless drunk
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
