Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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