i barfeds in our rink
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
