Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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