I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
