You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
