I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
