He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
