I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
