so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
