My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
