I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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