What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
