Who wears a wallet chain?!
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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