I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
