I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Don't make out with my wife yet
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
