the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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