when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Ketchup is God's man juice
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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