I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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