I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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