Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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