i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
