Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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