I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
All I want is dick and wine.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
