btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
