drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
