Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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