Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
