You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize