we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
