just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
