I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
