my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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