TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
