There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
