I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
