i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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