jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
