It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
