Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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