Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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