you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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