you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
my poor anus
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
