I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
